One of those things that's only funny to me apparently
Mood:  spacey
Topic: It's all about me
Remember when I said:

What's been your worst ever injury or illness?
You know, this one can be a whole story in itself: I fell on my head when I was a kid and had to be hospitalized

a few posts back? So here's the story.

You know when you act stupid or weird or whatever, and people give you that funny look and ask you "So, were you ever dropped on your head as a kid?" Why does nobody ever ask me this question? I mean, is it really that obvious? Yes, indeed I was. I don't know if it has anything to do with my current 'personality' or anything.

I was like 5 years old. I can't give an exact estimation, though I suppose I could be a good son and call home once in a while and just sort of slip this question in.

"Hey mom! How's it going? How are the girls? Uh huh... Say, do you remember that time I cracked my skull? How old was I?"

Anyway... So I was playing next door with 1 of my 2 best friends at the time. In keeping with my 'no real names' policy here on RandCom, we'll call her girlfriend because when you see it all nicely italicized you just have to hear it in your head in a RuPaul kind of voice. (Not that RuPaul has a single thing to do with this story, I just think it's funny.) Girlfriend's dad was a beekeeper (talk about freaky childhood memories!) who I don't remember at all well, and he had this huge pickup truck. He was home on this particular day, and girlfriend and I decided for some demented reason that climbing around on the pickup would be fun. I remember getting up on the cab, belly-down, because that's how a little kid would climb on something so unbelievably huge. Girlfriend kept pushing me forward to make room for her, and somehow through all of this I lost my grip and SMACK! went my precious little skull, right on their driveway.

If it's any surprise to you that I don't remember much after that, then maybe you should try a head injury for yourself. They're really fun. I do remember the various adult faces hovering over me, and I assume I was being carried or something at some point. They kept telling me not to go to sleep, which is precisely what I wanted to do. I also remember being scared to get an X-ray for some reason, and feeling the need to smile when they took it, because they told me it was like getting my picture taken. I don't imagine it made much of a difference.

It's my experience at the hospital at this time that colored my general distaste of hospitals for many years. It's not that anything really bad happened (that I remember, anyway), it was just freaky and weird to me and I always hated being around people I didn't know, especially away from home. I remember there was some other kid there named Adam (he had weird fingers), and we talked a couple times, I think. I also remember getting a board game with some sort of train theme. I vaguely remember seeing an IV tube that had somehow leaked a tiny drop of blood on the sheet, and being curious and freaked out about it.

So there you go. Dropped on my head as a kid. Maybe that's why my fekkin' gaydar is broken.

That sleep thing again
Mood:  spacey
Topic: It's all about me
So I'm in the middle of yet another psychotic insomniac flip. Now I'm sleeping at the entirely wrong time, which means dinner doesn't get cooked and we still haven't gone grocery shopping. The house is going to fall apart. I'm hoping to have this madness fixed by the weekend so I'll be on a good sleep schedule for my trip out to Cali. Not holding my breath on it though.

Wow, what a boring blog entry.

Donut!
Mood:  hungry
Topic: It's all about me
Yet another sleep weekend. We were supposed to go to the grocery store, but it's hard to do that when you're asleep during the daylit hours.

So I've been bugging the hubby with my latest stupid bit: moaning 'Doooooonuuuut' like some starving wretch in the middle of the desert. It gave me a good giggle once in a while, but apparently he took it seriously. On Saturday we had to make sure to be awake at 6 am so we could catch the new donut shop when it opened.

Mmmmmm... donuts.

They didn't have any damn bearclaws though. That's just ridiculous.

Californee here I come
Mood:  chatty
Topic: It's all about me
It looks like I've got my Cali trip for Halloween all ready to go. I may even get into trouble while I'm out there. Of course I'll try to behave. Try, that is.

The hubby is already getting weepy over it, even though he's the one who suggested I lengthen the trip from just over a week to just over 2. Seriously, it was not my idea to stay out that long. But he wants me to get some family visit time in while I'm out there. Hopefully I'll get to catch my mom on her birfcake, which is on Halloween itself. Bar none, the coolest fucking possible birfcake ever.

Where was I? (Damn rum.) Oh yeah, so I'll be out in Californication for the second half of October, and hopefully I'll have a cool ass costume for the party that weekend. Somebody get me some good drugs!

Cake time
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: It's all about me
Or rather, where's my fucking cake?

I'm 31 now. Whee!

Today was basically routine. I got a couple calls, we did grocery shopping, I fed the kittens. Kinda blah really. We'll be doing the actual celebratory dinner deal on Friday.

The Loot
A tin of cinnamon Altoids breath strips (not a gag gift, I'm a tin junkie)
A cute set of coasters
Some cologne
A zippy shirt (which I got early, actually)
A leather 3-part picture frame
A Rio Nitrus mp3 player
$25 of whatever I want (3 books, to be precise)
31 more $ of whatever I want

Hack cough wheeze
Mood:  down
Topic: It's all about me
Well I've gone and caught some illness thing. Mostly it's a sore throat and coughing, but I'm just waiting patiently for it to develop into something awful. Like West Nile awful. It would be just my luck.

So that and the psycho weather have been keeping me away from doing my bloggy duty. I do have some stuff to post, I just don't really feel up to giving them the full treatment right now. And truly, you deserve the best I can manage.

Just not today.

Two weeks
Mood:  spacey
Topic: It's all about me
The 'What do you want for your birthday?' questions are already starting. It's not like we can afford for me to go nutso in some store, gathering up a bunch more crap that I really don't need. And really, it's not like I want anything in particular.

Yes that's a fucking lie. I do want the new Ghost in the Shell movie on DVD, as well as Wicked City and maybe All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku-Nuku or something. I don't know, I've been on some weird anime kick lately. But that's not exactly important. I want books too, and music, and the usual slew of crap that entertains me and makes me feel like I'm a unique being because only I would choose that particular mix. And that's an illusion really, because I'm sure there are plenty who would indeed choose that particular mix.

Is this some sort of subconscious attempt to pretend I'm not getting older? I've never had a problem with the age thing before. (Last year's ick birthday notwithstanding...) In fact, I rather enjoy the fact that my age keeps clicking up another digit - much better than the alternative. I do plan to actually enjoy this year's festive aging occasion, despite the fact that if falls on a fucking Wednesday.

What do I want for my birthday? Another one next year.

A bullet in my closet door - no teeth marks evident
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: It's all about me
No I didn't fucking tell him. Yes, I'm annoyed with myself about it.

Shygirl got him started up on the whole religion thing first. Better her than me. I've already had my share of trying to argue with my dad. Him being happy with life doesn't in any way make him pleasant to 'debate' with.

So after watching that fiasco (it didn't help that she was drunk) I decided I would just leave the subject alone. The bad thing is, I made the mistake of mentioning that I read a bit of some book about how religious rituals and habits developed over time, and now he's all happy because I'm on the road to Jesus. Greeeaaat... I tried to 'splain that my interest was purely trivial, but that doesn't matter to him.

I'm almost afraid he's going to send us a copy of that Passion thing. I am so not fucking watching that.

He started in on the Jesus thing for a while when we were driving to Clovis for no particular reason. I made the mistake of trying to pretend I have an opinion different from his. I shut up soon afterward. It's hopeless, and I don't care if he doesn't know I'm not into the Jesus thing. I'm not in the mood to have to discuss or defend it.

It was pretty funny when Lazlo mentioned that I'm already damned in front of him. Laugh-a-riffic. I don't think Dad thought it was funny though, but he didn't say anything.

A living Bloodhoud Gang song
Mood:  silly
Topic: It's all about me
Okay, I know that I'm not exactly the most obvious person when it comes to this whole gay thing. I use that to my advantage when necessary. But out at Faire, where I feel perfectly fine and don't give a shit if someone has issues with it, I don't go out of my way to be inconspicuous. Really, how inconspicuous can a big fuzzy pink pimp hat and a t-shirt that says 'Diesel Fumes Make Me Horny' be? Nevermind the fact that my eyes are usually popping out of my head when a particularly bearish specimen crosses my path, or the occasional swoon caused by the kilted lovelies. But apparently no, it seems that I do indeed pass for straight even under these circumstances. One day I had the giggly pleasure of instructing not just 1 but 2 straight men in the reality of my 'preference.'

The first one was innocent enough, since he and I only occasionally hung out anyway and he was usually not around for the after hours craziness that is the entire point of working Faire. His wife and I are quite good friends, and while I was peeping out the schedule she tells me that he hadn't figured it out and was surprised when she told him. He shows up at this point and tells me "Yeah, I thought you just wore those shirts because you were man enough to do it." Why thank you, yes indeed I am. We had a good laugh about it.

But then, not even a half-hour later, I'm in Trey Dog's place waiting for the crowd to gather for some serious sandwichy-bowling-yardwork-safety action. (I know, that doesn't make much sense. I'll explain it later. Besides, I'm sure you can figure it out anyway.) When wave #2 of naughty children comes in one of them backs up into me (ahhh, invisibility) and one of the other guys (Lord Girth, if I remember right) made a semi-lewd joke. It took this dude a minute to figure out what he meant, and then he turns to me and says "Oh wait, you're really gay?"

"Well yeah," I reply. "Weren't you here for the briefing? I am the token queer here, you know." And then I treated him to a brief song and dance bit. (No it wasn't a disco number, and it wasn't an Indigo Girls song either.) He didn't think this was funny, though everyone else laughed.

Then he says "Oh. I thought you did that just to get chicks."

Well, obviously I don't. "No, but it seems to work anyway. HAA HAA!"

Again, he didn't think this was all that funny. Silly straight men. I hope I didn't make him nervous, seeing as how I wasn't about to touch his pee-pee or anything.

Does it stop there? Nope. My friend's boss didn't figure it out, not that I really handed out a bunch of clues. When she told him later he was entirely surprised. Now him, oh boy yes. I'd have him on a platter.

Maybe I need to start lisping or something...

Look what I found:
Topic: It's all about me
An extra week in California! Yeah, after some discussion and 800 numbers being dialed I've extended my trip out here. This means I have to...

Erm...

... I dunno. But I gotta do something with the extra time. As an extra bonus I did manage to get my week with Lazlo that I thought got lost in all the crazy shuffle. Games, movies, munchies - aw, reliving my tweenage years.