Is it really a burrito then?
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Totally Betty
They say everything is bigger in Texas. I'm not going to debate that particular statement now because I don't really care, but I can say with certainty that it is wholly untrue with regard to tortillas. I don't know what the deal is, but I have had the worst trouble finding an actual burrito-sized tortilla out here. They have these totally normal sized ones, just slightly bigger than what you would use for a soft taco, and they are fine if you want to eat 2-3 burritos. But when I make a burrito I like to have one large one - I figure I may as well get the whole meal done with in one fell swoop. And besides, sometimes I like to slop a little sauce on, and a little burrito about the size of a block of cheese is just not worth the trouble.

So today the hubby and I hit the United for our usual bi-monthly grocery trip, and at the end of it, while we were standing at the deli waiting for our lunch meat to be sliced, he noticed the varied selection of 'wraps' displayed at below knee height in front of the deli case. A wrap is a tortilla, of course, only apparently you're supposed to put salad or sandwich stuff into it instead of your personal burrito filling of choice. And these wraps are roughly 1/2 an inch short of what I would call burrito sized (which is still bigger than the tortillas they sell from the tortilla shelf way in the back).

The only flavor that agreed with my sensibilities at the time was a garlic herb wrap, so I picked up one of the packages. There are only 6 in it, and that already irks me, but we're not going to get into my stupid packaging issues. So we had burritos for dinner - or wait, are they officially wraps now? I mean, I put a meat/bean filling with cheese inside and rolled it up and called it a burrito, but if the package says 'wrap' does that mean I have indeed served a non-burrito trendy foodstuff instead of the good old burrito that I have been craving pretty much since I came out here?

A stupid conundrum, I know, but I felt the need to wrap my brain around it.

Yes, I know - even stupider pun.

Clogging my arteries, all for my faithful readers
Mood:  hungry
Topic: Totally Betty
The United had a sale on Ben & Jerry's, so of course I had to go apeshit and stock up the freezer. Their selection was kinda blah, but there were a couple flavors I figured I just had to let you guys know about, just in case you have not yet tried them.

Dig in...

Crack o' dawn
Mood:  spacey
Topic: Totally Betty
And what in the hell am I doing up at sunrise today? Well besides trying to flip my sleep schedule around (again) before my dad gets here and complains about me sleeping in all day, I'm...

Baking Cookies!

Yes, it's cookie time again. Right now I've got chocolate chip cookes (the cute tree and stocking ones) with pecans in the oven. After they're done and I've got them portioned out I'll start on the white chip and craisin oatmeal cookies. Mmmm... cookies...

Now a large portion of these babies are already earmarked. I'm not sure how many of them are going to be left after that. Also, at this point there's no way the extras will make it to where they're going before xmas. Like you care... I know you just want the damn cookies.

So here's the deal - as soon as I know what I've got to work with, I'll portion them up in sets of 8 or so. I'm guessing I'll have enough for 3 packages. Who wants cookies?

Fuckin' fritters
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: Totally Betty
So last night the hubby and I had a completely useless argument over a totally failed cooking experiment. I hate it when lame-asses don't put useful information in recipes, because it always results in me being irritated and wanting to shoot the moron who fucked up my cooking experience.

I guess the main trouble is that I don't fry food very much. It's messy, and I'm not all that into the grease experience. So I should have known I'd have trouble with a magazine recipe for yellow squash fritters. But we've got squash coming out of the garden, and I like to experiment. I just don't understand how I'm supposed to know the bottom side of something I'm frying in a half inch of oil is golden without lifting it up and looking. However, doing that just made the stupid thing fall apart and turn into mush. There wasn't even a hint in the recipe about how long I should let them sit and fry.

But that's not where the mess started. It started when the author of the recipe put all the ingredients into helpful quantities except for the main one - 2 medium squash. WTF does that mean? Was it too hard to give even a rough guesstimate on how many cups that would be? So I'm sure I put in too much, or too little. Either way, the stupid mess wouldn't hold together in little patties while I fried them.

At this point I was ready to just toss the stupid glop and get on with making dinner - I needed that pan to make sauce for the chicken that was cooking in the oven. Oh but no, that would be too easy. Now the hubby has to get involved and save the magical bowl of shit that is failing to cook properly. I guess he's too damn proud of our garden squash to let one get thrown out. So he cooks up the rest of the bowl of mess, which never once became a fritter but instead became a gloppy mess of fried shit in oil, and tells me "The ingredients you put in there taste good. It's still good, like hash browns." Of fucking course it tastes good, I made it. That's not the point. The point of the exercise was to make individual patties of fried squash goodness. Fritters, for fuck's sake. I wasn't about to eat a glaring failure, especially not one that had disintegrated and floated around soaking up copious amounts of oil.

So needless to say I'll never be making that again.

A Betty moment
Topic: Totally Betty
I'm currently enjoying a stripe of chess squares which I baked a pan of last night. These things are very bad for you, like most recipes I hand out. It just irks the hell out of me when people do a recipe and leave it all vague. It would be nice if they would warn you of complex or difficult stages, but I can live without that. What I can't live without are measurements. Here, check it out yourself:

Chess Squares

1 box yellow cake mix
1 cup chopped pecans
1 stick butter, softened
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla

In a mixing bowl combine all ingredients and mix well using a wooden spoon. Grease and flour a 9 x 13 x 2 pan. Spread mixture evenly in pan then set aside.

Okay, first off it would have been nice if they'd specified to mix the wet ingredients together first then add the dry. I already knew this because I bake often enough, but someone new to the process would have a hell of a time mixing this stuff together, which has the consistency of cookie dough. Also, you have no idea how hard it is to spread this stuff evenly in a greased and floured pan. Anyway...

1 8 oz pkg cream cheese, softened
2 eggs
1 box powdered sugar

One box? What the hell kind of measurement is that? When we bought the ingredients they had several different brands and some variation in their weights. I picked the 16 oz box, and I think it's too much.

Mix the cream cheese and eggs until smooth, then add sugar. Pour this over the first mixture. Bake at 350 for 35 minutes. Cool and cut into squares.

I think telling you to preheat the oven a bit earlier would be nice for the newbie, as well as a hint that you shouldn't just dump all the powdered sugar in at once since that's just going to make a mess.

So now I'm eating the final product. When I tried these baked by someone else they were quite good. These aren't bad, but they're insanely sweet - so sweet in fact that I can't handle this thin stripe without a glass of milk. And I'm a serious sugar junkie. If you make these yourself I suggest a little less sugar, like maybe a 12 oz box (assuming that size exists).

Enjoy!